Step 2 – Know What You Want

The first step in this process is both the hardest and the most fun

You need to define what you want and write it down. And, I don’t mean just more money, a large home, or other material things, but the experiences you would like to have once you have those things.

It’s fine to describe how you would feel with a large home in your ideal location, but your job in this task is to write down in fine detail your ideal day with no limitations of any kind.

By this I mean, assume you have all the money you ever dreamed of, the health and fitness you want, are living wherever in the world you’d like, with whoever you like and have the time to do whatever you want with whoever you want.

Go to a yoga class, get a massage and go shopping every day if you’d like.

Go ahead and dream a little – or a lot! Don’t worry about being practical or within a budget. If you have young children and feel guilty about getting a massage, going to yoga or doing things for yourself, include supervised activities for your children with qualified professionals.

If your children are pre-school age, have a sitter who is also a nurse and has raised kids herself watch and play with or teach the kids while you’re out. Remember, you have unlimited money!

If the kids are older, hire the best experts with experience with the same age kids to teach them whatever you or they want.

Write down your day as an experience – in the first person – as though you were actually doing it. Illustrate it with photos of your dream house or anything else you want.

While you’re at it, if you’re married, why not have your husband clean up the kitchen and clean the toilets? You have unlimited money and could hire it done, but wouldn’t it be more fun to see him do it?

To help you do this, answer questions like these in your description of your day:

• where do you live?
• what does your house look like?
• what’s your view? what do you see out your bedroom window?
• what time would you get up?
• what would you say when you got up?
• what would you have for breakfast?
• what would you spend your morning doing?
• what would you have for lunch?
• who would you like to have lunch with?
• what would your friends be like?
• what would you do for personal fulfillment?
• what life purpose would you strive towards?
• would you go to work? If so, doing what?
• what would you do at work if you chose to work?
• what are your relationships like?
• what would you do for family time?
• what would you do with your kids?
• what would you have for dinner?
• who would you eat with and what would you talk about?
• what would you do in the evening?
• with who?
• where?
• what would your thoughts be as you went to sleep?

Write this down as though you were experiencing it as you write it. Do not worry about being committed to anything, you can always change it.

Does all this seem like ridiculous dreaming? Really it’s not. We’ll discuss more about what you do with this in the next few steps.

Step 3 – Whether You Think You Can Or Think You Can’t – Either Way, You’re Right!

In the last step, I had you write down your ideal day with no limitations. Did you do it?

Many personal development experts and psychologists have done actual experiments that prove that what you can do or not do depends on what you think you can do.

Whether you think you can or you think you can’t – either way, you’re right!

A number of years ago it was thought it be impossible to run a mile in less than 4 minutes. For decades no one could do it. And then, Roger Bannister broke the 4 minute barrier that had stood for decades and then several others did it too – all in 30 days.

Now, there are high school runners who have done it.

Did physical abilities of human beings change in the less than 30 days between when the first person broke the 4 minute barrier and the second?

No.

. . .but once Roger did it, others knew it was possible so then they could do it too, and they did.

So, the first thing you need to do to have the life you described in the last step is to believe that it is possible – and that’s the hardest part. You will need to reprogram your brain – and here’s how to do that!

Now, I’m also not asking you to do it in one huge step. If you are currently living under a bridge, you will not be able to convince your own self that you are being driven around in a chauffeured limo. Take it in realistic steps.

However, even realistic steps are much more than you think possible now and I’ll explain more in the next step in this series. For now, just know that you really can have the dream life you want and it’s not going to take that long to get it….

Did you ever see the movie “The Secret”? They had it right in that movie about visualization and what you can achieve but they left out one critical step…

You have to take action!

The universe is not going to take care of you just because you’d like it too. I believe it was Einstein that said: “the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over and expect different results!”.

Your job in this step is to write your affirmations or “I Am” statements to describe the person you will need to become to have your dream life. The famous philosopher, Jim Rohn, has said the purpose of your goals/dream story is not so much to achieve it as it is to become the person you will need to become in order to do it.

Your affirmations all need to be short positive statements written as though you had already achieved them like these:

• I am enjoying my life in my dream house
• I am making a difference in the lives of others
• I am fit, healthy and an inspiration to my family and friends

Two excellent books that goes into more detail than I can here are “Promptings” by Kody Bateman and “Mach II With Your Hair On Fire” by Richard Brooke.

Step 4 – Your Brain Is Not Your Friend

Your own brain will sabotage your efforts to have your dream life, so what we have to do first is to change your brain’s programming.

Here are a couple examples to illustrate what I’m talking about.

Have you ever heard what happens to lottery winners? They almost unfailingly end up losing all their money after just a short time and end up back where they were before winning. So, why is that?

Their mental programming doesn’t see themselves as multi-millionaires so their brain unconsciously does what’s necessary to get them back to their comfort level of where they were before winning.

Another example at the other extreme. We all know Donald Trump and his ego. He’s a billionaire that has been bankrupt many times. He doesn’t think of himself as bankrupt, he has said of a recent bankruptcy that it was the best possible deal for all involved!

“The Donald” is a billionaire in his own mind and he so firmly believes that, that if he loses it all he makes it right back again. He even sued someone for writing in a book that he was merely a multi-millionaire, not a billionaire!

Donald’s self programming is as a billionaire so he is one.

So what does this mean for you?

It means that before you can have your dream life you have to believe in your heart that it is possible. So how do you do that?

Your existing programming has you wherever you are now and if you would like something better, you’ll need to change your programming.

Amazingly enough, it has also been proven (see Psychocybernetics by Maxwell Maltz) that your brain cannot tell the difference between a real experience and a vividly imagined one.

This is why you wrote the story of your dream day in step 1 and the affirmations or “I Am’ statements in step 2. The way you reprogram your brain is to read and visualize your “I Am” statements and your story 3 times each day for the next 90 days. Your brain will start to experience these as real and will figure out for you how to make it happen if you trust in the process.

If you think this is crazy, just give it 90 days and see where you are and how you feel then.

I’m not saying you will have accomplished everything you dream for in 90 days, it will take longer. What I am saying is that you will start seeing a difference in your life and how you feel by then.

Step 5 – What’s Your Excuse?

At this point, you might be thinking that all this may have worked for you but it won’t for me because. . .

• I’m too young
• I’m too old
• I’m too broke
• I don’t have any education
• I don’t know how
• I don’t have the time
• I don’t have the money
• I don’t know how or have any skills that are needed
• (insert your excuse here)
• etc, etc

What if I could show you how to overcome every one of those barriers? What if you really could do this and change your life? Are you willing to put some effort into it?

Will you give up TV in the evening? Will you find the time to do what’s necessary? If having your dream life is not important enough for you to put forth some time, effort and a little money, quit now.

There are many stories about people who have overcome all kinds of difficulties to become successful and the one thing they all have in common is that the people involved decided what they want and they never gave up.

This is not a “try it out for a few weeks and see what happens” type of deal. If it took you a year or two to get there with a part time effort, would it be worth it? Are you going to retire into your dream life in a couple years by doing what you are doing now?

Here’s a story I really like…..

A man turned 65 and started collecting his Social Security checks. He realized pretty quickly that his checks were not enough money to live the way he wanted, so, since he was a good cook, he decided to sell some of his recipes to restaurants.

Every day, he got into his car and drove to meet restaurant owners in person, cook for them and try to get them to license his recipe.

He did this for an entire year – making 2 – 3 presentations each day and never made a single sale.

Then, he did it for another year.

And another.

I’m sure his family thought he was totally crazy after the first month or two much less after 3 years.

Then he finally made a sale and got a partner. They started making more sales and opened their own restaurant and, you’ll know the name – Kentucky Fried Chicken. Colonel Sanders founded his franchise after over 1,000 in person failed attempts to make a sale.

Would you have given up before you got to 1,000 in person sales calls? Most people would quit after 10 “no’s” or for sure by 50.

Are you too old? He didn’t start until 65 and made his first sale at 68…